politicalprof:

So President Obama has cut spending from its Bush-era height (a bit), after a foray into stimulus spending and the bailout. I bet you didn’t know that.

ht: Ezra Klein

smirkingmitt:

Reader submission! (Thanks, @NJHighlands!)

animalstalkinginallcaps:

IS IT GONE?

I DON’T KNOW. I CAN’T TELL.

DAMN IT.

I’LL STAY UP HERE ALL NIGHT. I MEAN IT.

I’LL LIVE HERE. I WILL MAKE A HOME RIGHT WHERE I’M STANDING.

EVERY TIME THE GRASS MOVES I THROW UP A LITTLE.

I THINK I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW.

I’M NEVER GOING BACK DOWN THERE.

I’M FINE FOREVER, RIGHT WHERE I’M AT.

politicalprof:

ht: AM, via JC

animalstalkinginallcaps:

PICK UP YOUR WEARY HEADS, MY FRIENDS! BANISH ALL GREY THOUGHTS AND LINGERING WORRIES!

JUST LOOK AROUND YOU! GAZE UPON THE DISSIPATING CLOUDS! RETURN THE SUN’S RADIANT SMILE! STARE INTO THE TREES’ HEAVY BOUGHS, AND SWAY SOFTLY TO THE MELODIES OF THE BIRDS!

AND DEFINITELY, AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, DO SOME OF THAT ECSTASY KEVIN AND I BOUGHT LAST NIGHT! IT’S TERRIFIC!

literallyunbelievable:

what you can expect from the onion

thenoobyorker:

kileyrae:

(via @Pat_Garofalo)

Joke of the Day in my book.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

“ARE NOT THE THOUGHTS OF THE DYING OFTEN TURNED TOWARD THE PRACTICAL, PAINFUL, OBSCURE, VISCERAL ASPECT? TOWARD THE SEAMY SIDE OF DEATH WHICH IS, AS IT HAPPENS, THE SIDE THAT DEATH ACTUALLY PRESENTS TO THEM AND FORCES THEM TO FEEL, AND WHICH FAR MORE CLOSELY RESEMBLES A CRUSHING BURDEN, A DIFFICULTY IN BREATHING, A DESTROYING THIRST, THAN THE ABSTRACT IDEA TO WHICH WE ARE ACCUSTOMED TO GIVE THE NAME OF DEATH?”

… Danny, what the hell?

I’M SORRY. I MEANT “THANK YOU, THIS IS A WONDERFUL PARTY.”